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It's a tale as old as time: you'll make plans at 10 a.m., bright-eyed and fresh from your first cup of coffee. "Yes," you'll say to your friends. "I would love to do that thing tonight."

Around 3, though, you'll start to have doubts -- scary doubts. Do you really have enough energy for a whole thing?

And at 5:30, you're done. You do not want to do the thing. You're not even sure if you can do the thing.

But what do you tell your sweet friends? Your nice and good friends who are relying on you? An excuse, that's what.

Here are some good ideas.

1. You cannot go out tonight because you are practicing for the big recital.

You know, the really big one.

2. You cannot go out tonight because you are making cross-stitches of every Kanye West tweet.

Now you gotta be responsible for this water bottle.

3. You cannot go out tonight because you have decided to wash your hair every other day instead of every day, but you will not go out with dirty hair.

Sorry, it's just something you are doing.

4. You cannot go out tonight because it is not Halloween.

Do people go out when it is not Halloween?

5. You cannot go out tonight because you do not want to miss a fire tweet from J.K. Rowling.

Tweet may have been deleted

You must be present for every evisceration.

6. You cannot go out tonight because you must watch the show your coworkers are watching.

Yes, yes, the good show that you have all seen.

7. You cannot go out tonight because you had chicken pox in fall of 1998.

That virus can't stay dormant forever.

8. You cannot go out tonight because these dishes aren't going to clean themselves.

The situation is ... pressing.

9. You cannot go out tonight because you have to eat this produce before it goes bad.

Kale is better than seeing your friends.

10. You cannot go out tonight because your apartment has flooded with Hi-C Ecto Cooler.

It is seeping from the floorboards.

11. You cannot go out tonight because you never know who will ask you to name the state capitals.

First, you must study.

12. You cannot go out tonight because you are saving your energy for ice-skating season.

You will destroy the competition this year.

13. You cannot go out tonight because you are hard at work on a Venn Diagram comparing yourself with your favorite celebrities.

You have a lot more in common with The Rock than you'd think.

14. You cannot go out tonight because your cat is asleep on your keys.

It would be rude to disturb her.

15. You cannot go out tonight because you do not want to.

Good enough.

BONUS: Stranger Things is even better with hamsters

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