【】

After the Nintendo Switch event on Jan. 13, our hype for The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is at an all-time high.

We, being two guys who love video games and play them all the time, came up with a few features we hope the newest installment in the legendary franchise includes.

The game comes out on March 3, so it's unlikely that Nintendo will be able to include any of our very good and real ideas in time for release, but we hope that at least a few of these are already in there.

Let us know what you think, and if you know of any job openings at Nintendo.

1. Link is in favor of not repealing the Affordable Care Act.

2. The primary theme music is replaced with Hozier's "Take Me to Church."

3. Zelda is a Republican and Link is a Democrat and when they are reunited they shake hands and say, "I respect your right to exist."

4. You now finally have the choice to compliment somebody on their house.

5. It's never stated directly but heavily implied that Bowser from Mario is dead.

6. An old man follows you around and reminds you that your dog is a rescue dog.

7. Link can finally attend the funeral service of anybody he kills.

8. There are mandatory background checks on swords except the master sword which you can buy at a sword show.

9. Kaepora Gaebora hooks you up with a cheap sublet.

10. You can call 911 on Ganondorf.

11. All of the horses are American Pharoah.

12. The scoundrel Dark Link is in federal prison awaiting lethal injection.

13. The Gorons support Keith Ellison for DNC chair.

14. One of the temple bosses is a monster named FASCISM.

15. King Zora XVI has screeners of all the Oscar movies and will give them to you.

16. There's a Buffalo Wild Wings in Kakariko Village.

最新评论