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Today in footwear we never asked for: Crocs presents its Cyprus V heels.。

This unfashionable pair of heels looks as though a set of Crocs was planted in soil, placed in direct sunlight, and grown into something much worse than the original. And they can be yours for the low price of $224.77! Isn't that fantastic? Isn't that fantastic? (The company has much more affordable ugly heels on its website.) 。

The heels come in black or a fun "Platinum/Wild Orchid" option if you're feeling adventurous, and they're made from the classic Crocs Croslite material, with that same synthetic sole you know and love.。

Credit: crocs/amazon
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As far as unusual Crocs (or Croc-inspired shoes) go, these are far from the weirdest. There've been tube-sock Crocs, furry Crocs, and even platform Crocs modeled on the runway for Balenciaga. 。

If you're dying to upgrade your Crocs game from the classic flat slingback to big plastic heels, you'd better move fast because they're nearly sold out on Amazon. 。

Look, we don't really understand either, but that's 2018 for ya. 。

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